Perfectionism: A blessing or a curse?

As I sit and stare at my room, my heart is tug by a nagging feeling of discomfort and irritation. Why is it that my room is messy? Why is it that although people say it's fine, in my eyes it never is? Why is it that I feel I have to put everything in perfect order, or arrange things according to the colours, sizes, places, and things like that? Why?

I am still being considered as a mild case of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder or more known as OCD. I've known people who are just worse than me. They either become a neat freak or a control freak, or in shorter words, a freak. But I totally understand them. WE JUST CAN'T HELP IT.

Like for me, whenever I go to the video store to rent out a couple of DVD's, I couldn't help it but to arrange the movies according to the titles in alphabetical order. Sometimes I am in there for ages and it takes a considering friend to pull me out there and call me a freak to make me realise that it's just not normal. That is when I realise I nearly when overboard with my obsession.

Another example of mine is my stalking habit. People say it's a skill that I possess, but I knew better. When I have a person in mind that I want to look up, I go to length just to find out details about that person. And that usually freaks people out. Because I can have their facebook profile, details about their boyfriend/girlfriend, their exes, past schools, what kind of person they are, email address, phone numbers, and even past social networks account in just a snap. Well, not really a snap but you get what I mean. I can do it, and it scares people when I do it. It scares me too.

I don't know whether this is a blessing or a curse, but it can be both sometimes. It's useful when you want to do a background check on a person, but it's dangerous as you can be easily compelled to dig in information more than you should have.

And right now, my heart is twisted whenever I think about the fate of my rooms' orderliness.

You guys tell me what it looks like. Honestly.

OMG, you're fat!

Nothing can go any worse than having your self esteem torn into pieces by these three words..

You're fat!

Fuck. I guess that is what people do when they feel bad about themselves and are looking for something or someone to put the blame on or to take away the bad feelings. Well, let me tell you something. Weight is measured by taking into account the fact that it's due to the gravity of the earth that pulls our body mass so that it won't float away. So measuring weight is actually measuring how strong you stick to the surface of the earth.

Yet human, especially the female of the species could not get it out of their pretty little head (and heart) that it's a bad thing to be called fat. I bet there's hundreds of cultures out there who values people like us and hate thick skinny like model figures.

Us? Yeah. I admit that I am fat. But no one, and I mean NO ONE gets to insult me other than me. That's my right.

So to those people, especially guys..

FUCK OFF & STOP CALLING PEOPLE FAT

Who says you are better than us?

Tara ku cha cha.

Maafla, dah lama tak menulis. Hidup aku sekarang ni penuh dengan keja, melepak, melepak, tengok movie, melepak. Tak bermakna sangat kan? Tetiba aku teringin nak mintak keja lagi satu. Biar muntah aku sebab sibuk sangat keja. Ahah. Tapi.. Entah. Aku masih belum berani untuk mencari kerja laen selain dari apa yang aku dah ada sekarang ini.

Anyway, alhamdulillah, banyak gak tempat yang aku da lawat. Well, banyak compare dengan tahun lepas la. Aku pergi Petone, aku pergi Queensgate, pergi Zoo. Awesome ape?

Wellington tak banyak orang waktu ni. Padahal da pukul 2 lebih. Aku pun taktahu mana sume orang pergi. Menyorok kot.


Aku tetap rindukan Malaysia

Home Alone: Wellington version

Here I am, typing away in my room, embracing the peace and tranquility that I have in this big empty house. Ok, it's not really big and yeah, it's just an apartment. Anyway, I'm alone and it sucks. Like a lot. 

I started work already as Caron's helper, that is my unihall manager and so far things are pretty much the usual stuff. Filing, laundry, and filing. Yep. Fun day. Woo hoo. 

Wellington looks not so perky today. Cloudy and moody, and it makes me want to crawl under my thick duvet and shut my eyes and go to bed. LOL. I wish I could. 

I am seriously bored. SERIOUSLY.

I think I might go out and see the world. If the wind is not blowing that hard. Huh. Talk to you guys later. Ciao~

Cameron Highlands

Since it's already a one-digit countdown towards the final days of being in Malaysia, my family decided to go to Cameron for a last family vacation with me despite our current circumstances. Honestly, I kind of enjoy this trip more than before.

Now why wouldn't I enjoy family vacation that much before?

The answer is, my mom does not approve of doing silly things that people do while they are on vacation, and that includes hanging out at the tea plantation and basking out in the sun or just linger around shops until the shopkeeper thought you have nothing better to do than that. My mom thought it's a waste of time. But isn't that what we call vacation? Doing nothing because it makes you feel good? (Well, it does makes me feel good)

So this time, I did most of the stuff my mom would yelled at me before for doing it. It was fun. Oh yeah, I also went to visit my grand-uncle and met.. Wait for it..

BABIES! Yeay!

And yes, I love babies. Toddlers, kids.. All of them. :)

2012: A beginning to an end?

Well well well..

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Hope you guys have new year resolutions and stick to that. I got mine. Want to listen?

To not never ruin this year. Ever. To fill it with happy memories and not the sad ones. And seriously, I am not going to let the prophecised doom day to come into my way of having a perfect year.

Yeah, I kinda started of this year with a bad start. I seriously want to forget about it but it keeps haunting me. SERIOUSLY.

Good luck :)