Aiyoo

It's voting time for Malaysian today. Not me though. I'm not Malaysian.

KIDDING.

Some idiot went and registered my name under physical voter although I was supposed to do it via post. Bah. Not that I know who to vote though. So much politics when talking about politics, sometimes I feel that it's best to just sit back and watch the world burn.

Just finished my 2000 words assignment. Even though I have no idea what I wrote. Let's hope I didn't crash and burn. I'm gonna take the night off from all the academic world, and spend some time with my love one. Then it's back to studying for my Wednesday test. And another assignment. Sigh. It feels like it's never ending. Aiyooooo.

35 days for home.

35 more days to see u :)

What if?

I don't how many times I've written about letting go. Letting go the ones you love, whether it's for their best or you.. Letting go a good thing because you might get better.. Letting go hatred because it's destroying you... Letting go love because you don't think there's anything worth keeping.. so many letting go..

I found someone I can't afford to let go. Not in a million years. The question is: Is he worth the sacrifices I'm going to make?

Is he the one?

How do you know he's the one?

What if you make the wrong decision?

What if your decision creates problems?

What if, what if, what if?


So many questions, so little answer.

I'm afraid I'm going to get hurt. But little did I realize, I'm actually hurting someone else while figuring out life. You know how hurting someone else is the last thing I want to do.

Especially this one.

Emotionally walking away.

I heard this on House MD season 5 episode 21 (maybe?). It struck me with the truth. The truth that I've been trying to avoid from accepting.

I'm walking away, emotionally, from everyone I love.

And what do I achieve from that, you may ask. I don't know. Maybe I'm hoping that if I did this, people will walk away from me. People that I'm afraid to leave because it will hurt them, so I'd rather them leaving me.. Less blame on me I guess.

I think I don't deserve to be loved. Sure, I'm happy if people love me. Who doesn't? I'm not that crazy yet.

I don't know. I'm confused.

I'm clingy. I'm needy. But I'm also detached. And independent. And right now.. I don't know who I am anymore.

Test.

Today I have linguistic test. It's about first language acquisition in children. Basically we'll be tested for our knowledge on the linguistic terms and theory.

Truth be told, I don't have any mood at all for this test. All I'm looking forward are day off.

Any day off.

I don't know if it's the cloudy days or the fact that I'm feeling a little under the weather, but I want to go somewhere far away and sit under a rock and never come out. Yet at the same time I want to be around people and hug them and laugh. I miss laughing.

This is my worry at the moment. 

Song.

I downloaded Eminem songs into my phone.

It's awesome to be able to rap and pretend you're him when the truth is you're just mumbling shit.

Caught a coughing fit. I'm thinking of skipping class. What do you think?


Should I? (Under the excuse of "I can study more if I don't go to class")




Yeah right.